+44 - When Your Heart Stops Beating
an essay
"Please understand
This isn't just goodbye
This is "I can't stand you."
This is where the road crashed into the ocean"
It’s important not to understate how important parasocial relationships are to Blink-182. These three boys (eternally boys) aren't just musicians but three distinct characters. Who was your fave? Cute, cheeky Tom, square-jawed Mark or chill, cool Travis. When Blink-182 went on their infamous “Indefinite Hiatus” in 2005 it was deeply rupturing bombshell to the Pop Punk world. Fans lived through these guys, the trajectory of fans being goofy silly teenagers for Enema of the State to slightly older, even more confused teenagers on Take Off Your Pants and Jacket was real. People don’t want to admit it but Blink-182 is a band deeply intertwined with the inner emotional worlds of their fans.
When the plate-smashing divorce came Mark was the spurned one, Tom didn’t care anymore- he was more interested in chasing aliens, his back pain and dreams of fronting a second U2. Travis was a victim of his own “always say Yes” attitude, having backed Tom in Box Car Racer, and now being pulled into Mark’s jealous orbit. Tom had left to chase his expansive, universal dreams, his eyes opened up with pure sunlight. Being Mark back on earth kinda sucked.
Inevitably there was the discourse “picking sides”, which of the upcoming solo albums, Angels and Airwaves or +44’s debut were you hyped for? I was hyped for both, and at the time the pure momentum of Tom’s eccentricity and the genuienly good singles (The Adventure is one of the best songs Tom has ever written) pushed AVA to the top spot for many. But Mark’s moody, downbeat +44 has proven to be a slow-burner as the years have passed. Warm, smoldering coals, of small, crumpled emotions. Mark is hurt on this album, and he's writing the most sincere, heartbreakingly bleak songs of his career.
But is the album about Tom? “No It Isn’t” says Mark
The album is at is at its best when indulging in Mark’s meandering pain at the failure of Blink-182. It doesn't even go anywhere, there's no grand finale where Mark completes his heroes journey and discovers his creative drive anew. The very first line of the very first song, Lycanthrope, is “I wake up at the end of a long, dark, lonely year.” and the very last line, on the gorgeously titled Chapter 13, "I'm scraped and sober, but there's no one listening to me at all."
Yet this sour is balanced out with sweet, especially in the sonics. With Tom gone Mark could focus on his more Indie and Anglophile influences. The Cure, Neds’ Atomic Dustbin, alongside the sweet synths of The Postal Service. The songs aren't anthems, they're little chamber, emo pop ditties. Best listened to alone in the shadows on 2007 headphones. But they sing, so melodic and sweet. There is hope here, even if only in the promise of a song that connects with someone else. Singing a diary in a way only Mark Hoppus can.
I love Mark in this era. He started wearing parker coats, moved to London and began a Podcast: HiMyNameIsMark is the ultimate timecapsule for where he was at in 2005, chatting away on this hip new technology The Internet. Interviewing his friends and giving love to weird little bands. He was getting into producing, trying to move on with his life. +44 occasionally played Blink songs onstage.
But we all know how the story ends. The entire history of Blink-182 is about 3 (4) guys becoming friends, life's expectations crushing that friendship, and then the friendship growing back despite everything. And that happened twice, in front of millions of screaming teenagers whose entire inner-world was built in the arms of this band.